In my leadership experience, “toxic” isn’t a bad word but it sure has a negative connotation. Sometimes, it makes sense to be a “toxic” leader. There are seemingly toxic behaviors that are appropriate in the right context; understanding that context and communicating to the rest of your team is part of what separates toxic leaders from healthy ones.
There are plenty of lists about toxic leadership behaviors but I wanted to explore toxic leadership examples that are appropriate in the right context and what to do if leaders find themselves falling into unhealthy dynamics and patterns.
6 Examples of “Toxic” Leadership that are Fine, Actually
1. Being Aggressive or Assertive
Plenty of situations call for an aggressive leader; for example, when decisions need to be made quickly and decisively or when lives are on the line. In these situations, an assertive approach makes sure things get done without compromise. These are often situations where feelings need to take a back seat to the task at hand.
Being aggressive or assertive becomes toxic when there’s no longer a rational reason to use those tools. If there’s no emergency, no safety risk, no ticking clock, leaders need to pay attention to how their team feels and lead with empathy and humility.
2. Micromanagement
Despite its negative reputation, micromanagement can be an effective tool in the right context. Young and inexperienced teams often benefit from a high level of involvement so they can learn and develop. In this context, micromanagement is an appropriate response and a temporary measure. When a leader has vision and a plan, they’re able to phase out “micromanagement” when the team can stand on their own.
However, without foresight and communication skills, it can be all too easy to make a temporary measure permanent. If a leader is unable to phase out micromanagement techniques, it’s time to dig deeper. Is it because the team needs additional resources in order to thrive? Or has the leader developed some unhealthy habits without realizing it? Understanding starts with reflection and self-awareness.
3. Doesn’t Listen to Feedback
Sometimes leaders truly are so busy, so involved with certain projects, there is no time to sit down and listen to their team. Or, there might be time to listen, but not to do anything about the feedback. Both of these situations can be perceived as not listening or ignoring feedback, despite the logistical barriers that keep leaders from connecting and communicating.
What makes the situation toxic is intention and frequency. One of the most important things leaders can do is share where they’re coming from with the team. Understanding can make the difference for both leadership and their team. If discontent is growing because there’s no time to connect and give feedback, make time to talk about it before the problem grows and temporary patterns become routine.
Like other behaviors on this list, leaders need to be self-aware so a vacuum of feedback doesn’t become persistent. Even leaders with the best intentions can fall into toxic patterns without realizing it. Being intentional in how you communicate, even when there are many demands on your time, can help prevent behaviors from becoming toxic.
4. No Transparency
At every level of leadership, there’s information you’re simply not able to share with the team at large. Not sharing confidential information isn’t problematic, but is another example of a normal job function that can be interpreted as such.
One way organizational leaders can combat this misperception is by being clear about what information they can and can’t share—and why. Think about the position your employee is in and why they might be asking you to share certain information before you respond. Taking a moment to think about the other person’s side of things may be all it takes! There may be other ways to speak to your team’s pain points or concerns.
Like micromanagement or not listening to feedback, a lack of transparent communication can easily slip into toxic territory, and it all comes back to intentions. When leaders refuse to share information that can and should be public knowledge or arbitrarily control access to information (also known as gatekeeping), the dynamic can quickly become unhealthy.
Clear communication and an understanding of what information should be shared are a few ways leaders can avoid falling into unhealthy patterns. But for those who want to achieve a high level of leadership, introspection and self-awareness are critical to check intentions. Getting to the root can be difficult work, but it’s always worth it—especially if you care about your effectiveness as a leader.
5. Favoritism
Playing favorites might seem like cut-and-dry toxic leadership behavior, but the truth is favoritism has its place. Whether favoritism is appropriate comes down to context. If a leader has a member of their team who they can trust to get things done, then it makes sense to continue to rely on this person, especially in high-pressure, high-stress situations.
Favoritism can become toxic when a select few are always seen as getting choice assignments. While you might not intend to treat some people more favorably than others, the gap between intent and impact matters. The optics of the situation matters. Accepting feedback about this impact and having a frank discussion is the first step to resolving things.
6. Incompetence
Incompetence is all about how you view it. It’s not uncommon to have leaders in new positions where they simply aren’t up to speed on the industry, business, or other details. Under pressure to lead, they might make decisions that make them seem incompetent when the truth is, they just don’t have all the information yet.
The difference between true incompetence and temporary, situational incompetence is willingness to listen and learn. If a leader has all the resources to learn but chooses to make bad decisions and demonstrate bravado instead, then the “incompetent” label becomes more appropriate. In this situation, a leader needs to be ready and willing to accept feedback, even when it’s difficult to hear. A mindset of humility can truly help a leader get past the incompetence label.
The Gap Between Intent and Impact Turns Situations Toxic
At the heart of all the items on this list is the gap between intent and impact—when well-meaning leaders mean to do one thing, but their actions don’t land the way they’d hoped.
In my experience, leaders employ seemingly-toxic strategies to manage temporary situations, but when the behaviors become chronic, a toxic situation emerges over time. Sometimes the transition is so slow and innocuous that you don’t notice until it’s a full-blown mess.
Regardless of how leaders find themselves in toxic situations, the way out starts with caring about simply doing better. Sincere caring comes before any leader can receive feedback, share intentions, or resolve issues. It won’t always be easy or straightforward. But with the right mindset and support systems, leaders can move beyond toxic behaviors and unlock not only their team’s potential, but their own capabilities as well.
Don’t Wait to Address Toxic Behavior. Energy Leadership Advisors Has Free Resources that Can Help
Whether you need to address a difficult dynamic, avoid falling into unhealthy patterns, or simply make the most of your leadership journey, I’m glad you found Energy Leadership Advisors. After decades in the hot seat, I’ve not only experienced the challenges I coach my clients on, I’ve seen what it takes to get to the other side.
If you’re interested in working with me to address toxic leadership behaviors, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I offer potential clients two free coaching conversations and an assessment. If you’re interested in this free offer, learning more about Energy Leadership Advisors, or to request a consultation, please fill out the form on my website. I look forward to speaking with you!